Shall we do it? Shall we talk about soixante-neuf? Let's just do it. If only because the view from 69 is magnificent.
'What is soixante-neuf in French?' In the book 'Ik, Jan Cremer,' the author asks himself this very question while in France. It's a good joke, but it also shows just how thoroughly the word has become embedded in the Dutch language.
Sex is good for everything
Soixante-neuf, or the 69 position, is a sexual position whose arrangement is already indicated by the number 69: one of the two partners lies on their back or side, while the other takes position above or beside their partner — but rotated 180° — so that the two lovers can pleasure each other orally at the same time. In this Secret Agents Magazine, we love to talk about sex. Sex is good for everything. For your mood, for your body, for your masculinity (and femininity) and for your mind. And it has been shown that making love keeps you young and attractive.
When it comes to healthy sex, soixante-neuf apparently even takes the crown. According to an ancient text found in a sacred cave on the island of Elephanta near Mumbai in India, this position made men healthier and helped them live longer. Although it must be noted that, according to the sculptures also found in that temple, the man stood upright while holding the woman upside down — a workout to be reckoned with.
Let's take a moment to look at where that brilliant, perfectly descriptive name soixante-neuf comes from. Although the position itself already appeared in the Kamasutra, it seems that the famous and infamous French courtesan, orator and French Revolution leader Théroigne de Méricourt came up with the term around 1790. She sprinkled it liberally throughout the Catéchisme Libertin, or the Whore's Catechism. Théroigne spent the last 20 years of her life, completely deranged, in a closed institution, unaware that her vivid expression for a particular sexual position would become a worldwide tribute to the French language.
Ultrasonic waves
Back to the present day. Why is soixante-neuf so healthy? A while ago there were beauty experts who claimed that spermine, a powerful antioxidant and a component of semen, keeps the skin soft and supple and makes it firmer. The Norwegian company Bioforskning recreates this ingredient in laboratories and sells it as an ingredient for beauty products. Any woman who'd like to try it can, for now, only do so at the Townhouse Spa in New York. There, for 180 euros, you get a tiny amount of sperm applied to your face, after which your skin is further treated with ultrasonic waves and infrared light.
The woman, too, is a miniature beauty factory. Vaginal fluid consists largely of lactobacillus, the same bacterium found in your digestive system and the proof of why probiotics are so good for you. According to contemporary science, probiotics strengthen your immune system, help convert fat into muscle mass (if you exercise alongside it), and generally give your mood a boost. Sounds good, doesn't it?
Just how good her love juices are for the inner self is proven by a firm that — brace yourself — makes vaginal beer. Beer brewed with the kind of yeast that comes from a woman's lower regions. If you don't believe it, check out this video.
A 69 top three
But apart from all that — apart from all the benefits for beauty and health — soixante-neuf is a wonderful, unforgettable and thoroughly exciting pursuit. As she climbs on top of you, rotated, it already begins with the most beautiful view in the world. To a little spot where the sun always shines and everything is in bloom.
The American edition of the women's magazine Cosmopolitan compiled a top three of why men love 69 so much. Note: the following is written from the woman's perspective.
1. It's the only form of multitasking that men are good at. He gets to come down on you while you go down on him. In this world you'd like to believe that if you give, you'll also receive, but sometimes people aren't always so considerate. With 69 you give and you receive. Both the man and the woman. Women are used to that. Men aren't. So a whole new world literally opens up for them, and they find that particularly pleasant! In that respect, it's simply a clever and efficient form of foreplay.
2. What a man finds very exciting is hearing you moan while you're busy with him. Unless you pleasure him orally with great enthusiasm, that's a sound he rarely hears. And rest assured, it's a super sexy sound!
3. If you look closely at our little love spot, you'll see, when we're aroused, nature in full bloom. To be right up against it as a man — or in this case, lying on top of it — is a feast for the senses.
And finally, a thriller
For those who can't get enough of 69, here's an extra tip: the erotic thriller Soixante Neuf, written by Sandrine Jolie, a pseudonym for the Dutch author Linda van Rijn. Here is the synopsis:
When two bodies are found in quick succession in the sex club Soixante Neuf, posed in positions from the Kamasutra, the police decide on a top-secret undercover operation. Officer Sanne Romeijn is called back from holiday. She is the only one who can infiltrate as a luxury call girl to find out who the Kamasutra killer is and why the victims were left in that way.
After her successful application with owner Ramses Barbino, Sandy G. soon becomes one of the club's most popular girls. To unmask the killer, Sanne has to go far — even beyond her own boundaries. Just when Sanne thinks she's on the perpetrator's trail, a new victim falls. Sanne must do everything in her power to prevent the Kamasutra killer from striking again.
Kinky and thrilling!