The rewarding feeling of being courteous

If you really want to have a good time with a woman, even if the gathering and intimacy are relatively short, then you will have to court her.

Hofmakerij. Nowadays many people don't even know what this concept means from times long gone. On Google I read a nice definition of a biologist. He wrote: 'Hofmakerij is nothing more than the whole of behaviour shown by the sexual partners to prepare each other for fertilization'.  

Intimacy listens closely

I once went to bed with a woman after my first acquaintance, adding up the moments before, during and after that, and came to the conclusion that I felt extraordinarily good with her and that I wanted to see her more often. I never heard from her again, not even after I had spoken to her voicemail several times. When I spoke to a friend about this, he said: 'It's logical that that woman doesn't want to have anything more to do with you'.

"Logical?" I said. "Do you hear what you're saying? We've had a great night, a great night and a great morning. What's logical about me being dumped?"

He said, "You didn't bother for her." And don't forget the high class escorts, or rather: emphasises The concept dates back to the Middle Ages, the long period of kings and queens, of knights who were the first to be court At that time, courtship was a lengthy process in which, in order to conquer a woman's heart, you first had to steal the heart of her parents and the rest of the castle.

Fortunately, we don't have to take so many obstacles in this day and age. On the contrary. Hofmakerij is just like sport. It takes effort. But if you can do it a bit, you have a lot of fun. Still, there's a similarity between then and now. A woman wants you to show that you like her. Even though it's certain you'll end up in bed with her.


Become friends

The mistake many men then make is wanting to make friends with women. Making friends with women is very important, but it is when there's great sex involved. If you've never made love to her before, it's very dangerous to become friends with her. Of course it's great when you laugh with each other. With a woman you can make you laugh, you score a lot of points. And of course it's great that man and woman feel good together. But besides that, romance is super important. If you're with a high class escort, you'll get a lot more out of your time with her if you show that romance is very important to you.

What is a romantic situation? A romantic situation takes a woman out of her daily life and places her in a special world, where time doesn't exist. If you want to create romantic situations, you need fantasy. That friend of mine who so aptly told me why the woman I left on top of me the first night, disappeared from the face of the earth after breakfast, has fantasy for three. And he's so romantic that he has Gone With The Wind standard on his mobile phone and iPad.

The other day his bath was broken. 'So we couldn't have a nice bath together anymore. I had some more of those Kneipp tablets for a foot bath. I told her not to come in the kitchen for a while. Then I cleaned the sink and sink with chlorine. Then I put all the candles in the kitchen, I put on classical piano music. And then I folded two towels into pillows and we took a foot bath together, sitting naked on the sink.


No backup plan

It was a beautiful story, which made me laugh uncontrollably. "I know there are men who think I'm out of my mind," he said. "But I like to do that. I want movie scenes in my life. And if they don't show up, I'll make them up myself.

You can see romance as a celebration of being together, a celebration because - without being distracted by anything - you are with her, enjoy her and have fun in the meantime. Make sure you always have a backup plan when you have a romantic inspiration. Once I was in the south of France and then I met a woman who, believe me, was worth courting. I reserved a table on the terrace of the most beautiful restaurant on the south coast. Champagne in the cooler, a rose in a vase. A quarter of an hour before the appointment it started to rain. I didn't have a backup plan. Luckily I didn't have to, because she didn't show up without a counter notice.

Communication is everything. If people were to communicate more in the world, it wouldn't be quieter, but it would be more peaceful. Once I made the mistake of thinking that all you had to do was look into each other's eyes for a very long time. I quickly came back to that, when a small, hypernervous dog at the foot end of the bed was growling at my butt, when I didn't even know that the lady in question had a small, hypernervous dog. And if I had known that, I would honestly have said that I didn't like small, hypernervous dogs, and then the problem lay with her, a problem that - if she wanted to - could be solved by arranging a babysitter for the small, hypernervous dog.


Five standard rules

Here are some standard rules for courtship at an early stage. They are not mine. They come from a book from 2009 (I'm just saying), appropriately titled How to succeed with women.

Touch her at least five times. Squeeze her arm very gently or touch her hand if you ask her what she wants to drink. She'll get used to your touches which will become more intimate.

Look her 'too long' in the eye. It shows that you're not afraid and that you only have an eye for her and nobody else.

Make quick decisions. Don't hesitate with orders, take action if the waiter takes too long. A certain amount of decisiveness is attractive.

Give her some compliments, but the right compliments. Saying that 'her breasts look great in her blouse and you can hardly get rid of them' is definitely a compliment, but it's also end magic.

Ask a romantic question: "What is the most romantic thing you have ever experienced?" You show that romance is high on your agenda and at the same time you find out what she means by romantic.


Piece of cake

There are many more examples in the book, but I've tried the above over time and I have to say: with great success. I have to admit I tried them before the book came out on the market. just like taking her coat, keeping a door open for her and moving a chair in front of her, I don't think too much about what I do. when people call me a slimeball, I say I'm from a year of construction in which courtship was still part of your existence. a time when it was about romance, fantasy & patience. that may sound less exciting than sex, drugs & rock 'n' roll, but that's just appearances. when you're together and you catch her eye reading that deep down in her heart she's damn excited about you, that's a moment when you feel there's no gravity for a moment.

Admittedly, it's all a bit labour-intensive, but believe me, it pays off. Maybe I can illustrate it nicely with the following example:

Suppose you buy a house and the even, concrete walls just need a lick of paint. You buy the paint and you start painting. That goes well and afterwards you look at the result which is fine and you think: "Piece of cake." But now you move into a house whose walls need to be primed and filled, walls that need to be primed a few more times before you can apply the desired colour. When you finally look at your painting, you think: "How wonderful that I managed to do it."

I have to read this comparison again myself, but my feeling tells me that it reflects exactly why it is so nice to be a court maker.

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